It’s raining cats and dogs. And fish.
December 7: Cat with Feast
Today’s prize is predominantly “a fish” by mass, but given the popularity of cat videos, I suspect that this prize is actually supposed to be our feline friend. I also suspect that this fish is more of a food fish and not a friend fish, although it’s about 300% too big for the food bowl.
Rating
Fun ★★☆☆☆
It sure is a cat. Not a lot of fun for me to build, but I suppose that the Lego children will like her. Or they’ll like the fish. Who knows what Lego kids are into these days.
I want to like the fish, but you know, the thing about the fish, he’s got—lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at you, he doesn’t seem to be livin’. Until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white…
Ease of Build ☆☆☆☆☆
There is nothing to build here. I’m not even sure that it’s possible to build anything with these components. The bowl is, for some reason, shaped like a chawan (茶碗), a Japanese rice bowl, and you can technically plug the fish’s mouth into its base, but it’s not terribly pleasant to do so.
Comprehensibility ★★★☆☆
I can identify these objects individually, but I want there to be a larger narrative and I can’t seem to force it into existence through sheer incredulity. Day 3 brought us Cujo, the dog with the enormous bowl of human femurs. The scene here seems roughly congruent, except that the bowl is petite and the fish is a real hoss—a specimen the likes of which we haven’t seen since the collapse of the Grand Banks cod fishery.
The following are depictions of the relative size of things in this world:
Extra Parts ☆☆☆☆☆
There are no extra parts. Again.
Overall ★★☆☆☆
Yeah, the cat, I get that she’s supposed to be the star, but I’ve really come around on this fish. Not only can you plug things into the fish’s mouth, I’m pretty sure his hindquarters are a handle. His caudal peduncle will fit perfectly into a Lego person’s hand, so that he may be used as cudgel or boomerang, à la Lew Zealand from The Muppet Show.
If I were to believe the crudely painted plaque in every beach house I’ve ever been to, I’d think that fish and visitors stink after three days. I might even believe that it’s a quote from Benjamin Franklin, but he got it from John Lyly, who put it in Euphues: The Anatomy of Wit in the 16th century. Either way, this bad boy is only on day 7 of 24, and if he’s going to make it to Christmas Eve, he better take the slopes with Snowboarder Dude and Skier Girl and hope that it stays below the USDA’s recommended freezer temperature of 0°F (-18°C), or these assembly-free Lego kits aren’t going to be the only rotten things in the state of Denmark.
