It’s people.
December 13: Ice Skater with Cookie
This is an ice skater with a large cookie.
Rating
Fun ★★★☆☆
This lady is pretty fun. She has ice skates and a nice scarf and is holding some kind of pastry, which I think may be a large cookie or small cake. She has also joined the ugly sweater contest with the rest of the family and pets, and hers is rad.
Ease of Build ★★★★★
The people are usually easy to build, and this is no exception.
Comprehensibility ★★★★☆
I assume that this is the mom of Snowboarder Dude, Skier, and Baby. Part of me wants to question whether she packed a pastry to eat while ice skating or wore her skates into the bakery, but this is far from the weirdest part of this season’s countdown, and for all I know it’s normal to skate around with an oversized cookie. My only experiences with skating were 1) that one time when my dad made me put on my mom’s figure skates from the 1960s and took me to a frozen cranberry bog, which had a couple inches of cranberry shrubs sticking through the ice surface (definitely enough foliage to prevent “ice skating” in the traditional sense, but not enough to cushion the relentless falling) and 2) playing hundreds of hours of NHL ’94, during which I probably ate a lot of cookies. Maybe she’s in Ottawa and is commuting via the Rideau Canal. Maybe Insomnia delivers to her rink and/or pond. It’s fine.
The real story is that sweater. Eschewing the standard set by speakeasies and mullets, this sweater is a business in the back and a party up front: the reverse depicts a pine tree, similar to those found on several of the family’s sweaters, but the obverse has helicopters. Hopefully this is a preview of something to come and not a reference to her parenting style, but we’ll all have to wait and see.
Extra Parts ★★★★☆
This came with three (3) extra parts: a spare scarf, a spare cookie, and a spare skate blade (to be used if one should be damaged while skating through a briar patch or semi-aquatic agricultural crop).
Overall ★★★☆☆
She seems cool.
